Uttoxeter Pub Explorations

There will be Bass (again).
A sunny afternoon trip to the town of Uttoxeter on the eastern edges of Staffordshire, not too far from the spiritual home of Bass, guaranteeing a few pints.
I set off just after 10am from Stafford on the excitingly named 'Chaserider' bus 841, a £2 fare cap ride for the 60-minute journey.

 

All good days start in 'Spoons.  Okay, all days when you arrive too early for the other pubs start in Spoons.

The Old Swan (Market Place, Uttoxeter, ST14 8HN)
Not a lot of love in the recent Tripadvisor reviews for the Old Swan.  "Worst pub ever and I've been to a few Wetherspoons" said Louise K a short while before I visited.
But have you been to the Cowley 'Spoons Louise?

On the downside: convoluted route up a narrow staircase to the WCs; no-one interested in clearing away the breakfast detritus at the end of my table.
On the plus-side: I caught up with a bit of stuff on the wifi having refused to pay an extra £3 at the Travelodge.  And not a bad beer, served by a cheerful chap.

I opted for the Ilkley 'Ruby Jane', with Titanic 'Plum Porter' being the only other interesting option alongside the regular cask collection.

You can wander a bit further afield in Uttoxeter to really do the pub explorations properly.  Or you can just lazily amble around the market square, as I did, where there are a half dozen pubs to pick from.
The second call of the day for me was at the Talbot...

Ye Old Talbot (43 Market Place, Uttoxeter, ST14 8HF)
This is an old inn dating back to the 16th century.
Stepping through the front door took me to the wonderful bar room, with a roaring fire going and all the tables occupied by cheery locals.
Here's the tricky beer choice...

Decisions Decisions Decisions...

I took my pint around the corner into a second area at the front of the building, past the big DJ booth and betting slips in a holder on the wall.  This didn't have the same character as the tables by the bar, but never mind.

Music-wise we got a lesser-known Free track playing on the jukebox which one chap was eager to identify, whizzing around to where I was to check the juke box. 
"I told you it was Paul Rodgers", he shouted back to the main bar..."c'mon, you know...Free...♩ awwl right now...𝅘𝅥𝅯𝆕"

Tracks followed by X (hmmm) and Bootsy Collins (oh yes!) before dodgy pop took centre stage.

I liked the Talbot.  It reminded me of the village pubs in my early drinking days.
Don't bump your head on the way out...

Ouch

My next stop was the only current Beer Guide entry in Uttoxeter, which seems pretty remarkable when I think of some of the places I've trekked around to for Guide ticks.

Night Inn (Lion Building, 8 Market Place, Uttoxeter, ST14 8HP)
I did take a stroll to the Uttoxeter Brewery itself but, despite various sources suggesting they may be open on a Friday afternoon, the doors were firmly shut.
No drinking the beer at the local source then, but the Night Inn, established in July 2020, does act as their tap room.
Here's the Uttoxeter Brewing Company cask line-up to pick from... 

I went for the 'Bartley Bitter', the one with a boxer on the front named after bareknuckle champion Bartley Gorman.  Other than the casks there was a good keg choice from Salt, Vocation and Brew York.

The music is pure 80s' gold - Billy Ocean, The Police, A-ha, The Bangles, Men at Work - all the most predictable tracks and all slightly too loud had you wanted a conversation.
But, as you can see, no-one to converse with except the chap who came in and sat as far away from me as possible.  Hang on a minute...didn't that happen in the last post too?

Right, let's do another circuit of the market square stopping only at the jacket potato kiosk in the monument in the middle for some great value nourishment.
Tatty, cheese, and beans fueled me for the remaining two pub visits.
The first of which was in the Black Swan which got a bit of criticism for the modern grey paint job when I posted a picture on Twitter.

Black Swan (4 Market Street, Uttoxeter, ST14 8JA)
Like the Talbot, this is another Grade II listed building that dates back to the 16th century.  Doors to the bars are tucked down the coaching passageway.  I stepped through the first door which took me to the empty small front bar where I think I would have stood half the day without being noticed.

Now that's a proper pub carpet

The action - well, the landlady and four Carling-drinking blokes deep in concentration over a card game - was in the back bar.
Two hand pulls: two Bass pump clips.  On decent form again, matching the quality in the Old Talbot earlier.

I would have liked to have called into the micro whilst here but they didn't open the doors until midway through the afternoon by which point I needed to be back on the Chaserider bus.  So there were a few more stops on a Uttoxter tour of intoxication that I'd like to have done given more time.  But there was no way I was missing the Vaults...

The Vaults of Uttoxeter (22 Market Place, Uttoxeter, ST14 8HP)
This is a cracking 18th century red brick building with unmissable etched glass windows.
A couple of steps straight beyond the door take you up into the main bar with four tables and piano in the corner.  Through an archway is a games room to the back with darts and table skittles.
I was there about 20-minutes after opening time and got the last table, a good dozen folks looking very settled and cheery already.

There is no pondering the beer choice here - Bass rules - sipped by the landlord from a dimpled mug every time he got a break in serving people.
Jazz piped through the speakers at just the right volume, mini domestic turmoil and some dubious humour from the one chap at slightly too high a volume.

There is something magical about the Vaults, soaking in the proper pub atmosphere with a pretty superb pint of Bass in front of you.

All I need now is a rainbow over the Seeplechase pub to complete the post.
Ah...there we go...