The micropubs were waiting for late afternoon to unbolt their doors.
Forget about the brewery taps which are Thursday to Sunday affairs.
Even the classic run of the Coopers, Devonshire Arms and the Roebuck can't be tackled until gone 4pm.
But this is the Capital of Brewing, so surely I could still do well between the hours of 11 and 3?
As it was early doors and I needed some breakfast, I headed straight to Wetherspoon's. You're never very far from brewing links in Burton, this being named after Michael Arthur Bass, brewer and first Lord Burton.
The Lord Burton (154 High Street, Burton upon Trent, DE14 1JE )
Absolutely no surprises within the Burton branch, where only the historic pictures of the town adorning the walls remind you where in the world of JD Wetherspoon you are.
The open-plan room stretches a fair way back from the street, bar at the midway point, all the expected carpeting, furnishing and table clutter present and correct.
With added chaos at the bar.
Quite how the customers before me caused so much of a headache I don't know. But it involved being served by two people, having to repeat their drinks order and forgetting who wanted what second time around. One of the two staff fetched a boxed cider from the store room and I painfully watched whilst not being able to help as they struggling to lift it onto a high shelf in the fridge. All whilst the plates to be delivered to tables increased and the number of folks waiting at the bar grew and grew.
Oh well, plenty of time to pick and then change my mind several times as to which ale I'd have...
I ended up spending my £1.99 on the ever-reliable Rudgate 'Ruby Mild'.
Taken to a table by the front windows where the gang on the nearby table discussed ailments, MOTs and Magaluf.
My plate of breakfast fodder provided me with the energy to make the fairly long walk to the other side of the River Thames and a pub with a promising "Best Bass" sign painted on the front and side.
The Elms (6 Stapenhill Road, Stapenhill, Burton upon Trent, DE15 9AE)
This was a bit of a gem.
It was built as private housing in the late 19th century, then converted into a parlour pub - where little would be changed from the original layout and the homely living quarters would be opened to drinkers. (A proper parlour pub in Shropshire to follow in a post or two).
The front rooms are the most characterful places to sit: a lounge with colourful cushioned bench seating and a superb fireplace to one side; the more basic wooden benches in the bar to the left of the front door.
Quite how the customers before me caused so much of a headache I don't know. But it involved being served by two people, having to repeat their drinks order and forgetting who wanted what second time around. One of the two staff fetched a boxed cider from the store room and I painfully watched whilst not being able to help as they struggling to lift it onto a high shelf in the fridge. All whilst the plates to be delivered to tables increased and the number of folks waiting at the bar grew and grew.
Oh well, plenty of time to pick and then change my mind several times as to which ale I'd have...
I ended up spending my £1.99 on the ever-reliable Rudgate 'Ruby Mild'.
Taken to a table by the front windows where the gang on the nearby table discussed ailments, MOTs and Magaluf.
My plate of breakfast fodder provided me with the energy to make the fairly long walk to the other side of the River Thames and a pub with a promising "Best Bass" sign painted on the front and side.
The Elms (6 Stapenhill Road, Stapenhill, Burton upon Trent, DE15 9AE)
This was a bit of a gem.
It was built as private housing in the late 19th century, then converted into a parlour pub - where little would be changed from the original layout and the homely living quarters would be opened to drinkers. (A proper parlour pub in Shropshire to follow in a post or two).
The front rooms are the most characterful places to sit: a lounge with colourful cushioned bench seating and a superb fireplace to one side; the more basic wooden benches in the bar to the left of the front door.
I backtracked the way I'd come in order to return to the centre - walking across the traffic-heavy Trent Bridge, then taking the footpaths through the meadows, with wooden walkways across the wet bits.

Time for a quick bit of brewing heritage, with a snap of the Worthington offices.
The red brick buildings date back to 1755 and served as the administrative centre of Worthington's brewery from 1863. Given more time, I would have followed one of the town's brewing trails, but my schedule demanded I drink the beer rather than look at old buildings connected to it.
The red brick buildings date back to 1755 and served as the administrative centre of Worthington's brewery from 1863. Given more time, I would have followed one of the town's brewing trails, but my schedule demanded I drink the beer rather than look at old buildings connected to it.

I do confess I walked past the unwelcoming door with it's buzzer entry system twice before plucking up the courage. This was more unnerving than Maidenhead Conservative Club.
Burton Constitutional Club (150 High Street, Burton upon Trent, DE14 1JE)
I don't know what I was worried about. The welcome was super friendly, my query if I could come in for a pint of Bass without being a member met with a "course you can, my love".
A bit of history... This was built to house the post office in 1874. When the post office moved to New Street in 1905 the building was only empty for 2 days before Lord Burton and the Ratcliff's from the Bass brewing empire purchased it with a plan to create a gentleman's club. It was redeveloped over the next five years, with an oak panelled ground floor reading room, games room on the first floor with snooker and card tables, bowling green out back.
These days, the upper floors are used by a dance studio with the snooker tables in pride of place on the ground floor.
I'd love to have potted a few balls, but wasn't pushing my luck.
The Bass was on great form, a smooth pint with thick silky head, enjoyed in superb surroundings.
Moving on, I wanted to visit the current Beer Guide listed Black Country Ales Burton outpost.
The Dog (5 Lichfield Street, Burton upon Trent, DE14 3QZ)
Located on Lichfield Street, just past the market place, The Dog stands out with it's creamy paintjob and timbered frontage. A surprising lack of parked cars directly in front, although the Biffa wheelie bin is doing no favours to the aesthetics.
In previous incarnations, this was a Worthington tied house, an O'Neil's in the 90s, and an Enterprise inn until 2015, at which point Black Country Ales added it to their chain.
It's got a fair bit of character - quality ceiling, even better bar frontage, good carpet, wallpaper that will be familiar to anyone who's been in a BCA pub-or-two.
On the bar, alongside their own regular brews, were cask ales from Magpie, Facer's, Felinfoel, Lenton Lane, and Mallinsons. My pick was the novelty Chocolate Orange stout by Facer's - it's not what I'd pick now, but it seemed a good idea at the time.
I took this to a comfy seat in the corner with a cheese & onion cob (of course!). A fellow customer on the next table tried to conduct a phone call and hum along to 'Video Killed the Radio Star' at the same time. It didn't work and obviously confused the person at the other end.
I needed to leave Burton at a sensible hour, so could only squeeze in one more pub.
I figured I'd make it the supposed oldest in town.
Olde Royal Oak (11 Market Place, Burton upon Trent, DE14 1HA)
On the market square, the upper timbered part looks a bit more authentic than that of The Dog. Part of the building dates back over 300-years, once connected to the abbey by a tunnel, and once used as a lockup for ne'er-do-wells.
It's been owned by various breweries over the years, but seems to have struggled amongst the stiff pub competition in Burton, despite a cracking location.
I stepped in as the rain began to fall.
Lots of handpumps on the bar.
But not a lot of choice...
"One's plenty," as someone once said. Especially when it's just the beer I'd hoped for anyway.
It wasn't up to the high standards of the Elms or Constitution Club, but was absolutely fine and kept me happy.
The Olde Royal Oak is a bit of an odd'un. Lots of space, big stage area, complete mismatch of furniture set up in an unusual way - like the lovely old wooden bench I sat on, but couldn't lean back on due to a ledge poking out over the top of it.
Music came from Rose Royce, The Beach Boys, Simply Red (uh-oh), and Toploader (that's it, drink up!)
I started the post with a picture of a pint of Bass, so I'll finish on one too...










































































