Belgravia Pub Crawl

On Saturday 1st Feb I headed to London where a group of folk from the one-time Central Southern Region CAMRA branches had organised a West London pub ramble.

Making good speed on the Oxford Tube, I found myself in Victoria with time to spare and Spoons crying out that a pre-noon pint would be the ideal preparation for the beery day ahead.  It really probably wasn't, but never mind.

The Willow Walk (25 Wilton Road, Victoria, London, SW1V 1LW)
Handy for your £3.49 pint of real ale to prepare you for Wicked at the Apollo, The Willow Walk is a couple of minutes on foot from Victoria station, black cabs lined up in front of it.
Between 1954 and 1984 this site was part of the Wilton Road Woolworth's which had the longest store frontage in the whole of the chain.  Record Rendezvous and the pick 'n' mix section are long gone, part of the building becoming a JD Wetherspoon's in 1999. 

On this occasion there was a mini beer festival line-up on the bar featuring London breweries...

I ordered the By the Horns 'Foundry', a very drinkable 4.2% stout.  After enjoying this pint, it was sad to read a couple of days later than the Wimbledon brewery has gone into liquidation.

Pints came in sturdy plastic cups, my neighbour at the bar asking the staff why this was (plus why are there three security guards on the door and a police van parked outside, for that matter).
"There's a CAMRA regional pub crawl passing nearby."  Actually no, that wasn't the answer.

The chap turned to me when he didn't catch the actual reason.
"What did he say?  Who's playing?"
"He said there's a march for Tommy Robinson."
"Oh, right.  I'm an Ipswich fan myself."
???!

The meeting place for the pub ramble was Pimlico's marvellous Cask, which would be unlocking the doors at midday.  As the clock was ticking towards that time, I strolled in that direction, stopping for supplies in Sainsbury's, reaching the pub at ten-past.

Cask Pub & Kitchen (6 Charlwood Street, Pimlico, London, SW1V 2EE)
A couple of steps through the door and I found myself at the end of an orderly long queue to the bar, a gaggle of folks from the Oxon, Berks and Bucks CAMRA branches waiting in line to peruse the hand pumps.

Credit to the lone member of staff who worked efficiently through this early customer influx and never showed any consternation that most of us wanted two half pints and a picture of the pump clips.

I followed the two halves trend, unable to narrow the strong choice of cask down to one single pint pick.
The Newbarns/Omnipollo 'Henok's Mild' was a top notch 5.2% mild, chocolate and roast malt flavours edging it towards a porter.  Lined up next to this, I had the Heritage Brewing Co 'P2 Czar's Imperial Stout', deceptively smooth and easy-drinking for the 8% strength. Unsensible, maybe, but oh so nice.

Other than not being able to try all the beers, Cask made for a great meeting place for the participants on today's west London pub excursions.
It's a comfy place, those slanted front windows in the Grade II listed post-tower block Lillington Estate building giving this 60's pub some character. 
The cask prices didn't break the bank (it's usually a diversion to the keg that does that for me).
And it has a great descent to the gents...

Cask was very much the outlier on the itinerary, necessitating a 15-minute walk to the next stop.

When I moved to London as a youthful whippersnapper, our next destination was one of the few places brewing beer in the capital.  In a city dominated by Youngs and Fullers, Pimlico's Orange Brewery was a rare spot to drink beers concocted in the basement.  I vaguely remember Orange Square, on which the pub is located - artisan market just packing up as we arrived.  But I can't remember much about visiting the brewpub or if it was a bit more down-to-earth than the current incarnation.

The Orange (37 Pimlico Road, Belgravia SW1W 8NE)
Searching online I discovered a description of the latest refurbishment, detailing where the lampshades and fabrics had been sourced and how 'natural paint made from earth and mineral pigments' had been used.
Probably best not to expect rickety bench seating, spit and sawdust, and graffiti in the gents, then.

The Orange is a multi-roomed place- you can do a full circuit of the ground floor, taking in the characterful dining area to one side, seats by the fireplace, and staircase leading down to a subterranean 'Blood Orange Bar' or up to first floor bedrooms.  £200 for the night, should I not be able to face that bus journey home.

There were two hand pumps on the bar, one turned around, the other being Allsopp's 'Pale Ale', served to us in continental handled mugs that made half pints look very small.  

Moving on, we deviated from the suggested route, figuring we'd skip past a couple of small pubs that wouldn't be comfortable if all the CAMRA ramblers were to descend on them at once.
Another 15-minutes took us to a bit of a classic in Belgrave Mews...

The Star Tavern (6 Belgrave Mews West, Belgravia, SW1X 8HT)
The Star is famed as one of the 'famous five' pubs that have appeared in every edition of the Good Beer Guide, a blackboard by the staircase celebrating that achievement.
This Grade II listed pub dates back to 1864 and has hosted a colourful clientele over the years.  John Profumo was reputed to have met up with Christine Keeler at the Star; Diana Dors, Peter O'Toole and Albert Finney also drank here. 

In the sixties it was said that the well-heeled and celebrity clientele made themselves comfy downstairs, whilst a whole different set used the first floor library, most famously the collaborators planning the Great Train Robbery.

The cask ale choice at the bar was Fullers 'ESB' or 'Pride'.
Here's Michael by the upstairs library bar, making extensive tasting notes on his Fullers 'ESB'...

Or perhaps he's scribbling down his ideas for the next audacious heist to be dreamt up in the Library of the Star?

We finally had a shorter walk between pubs, trekking along the southern side of Belgrave Square to a pub hidden down a narrow cobbled street, featuring some fine foliage out front and evergreen window boxes.

Horse and Groom (7 Groom Place, Belgravia, SW1X 7BA)
The interior of the Horse and Groom is micro-size - five tables if I remember correctly, plus additional seating in an upstairs room that I didn't explore.  It's a cosy, brown-hued pub, with wood panelling, and a wooden screen secreting the steps down to the WCs.

This is a Shepherd Neame house, giving us a choice of the familiar 'Whitstable Bay', 'Master Brew', or 'Spitfire'. 

My 'Master Brew' was close to being past its best - the only significant beer quality dip of the day, whilst the 'Whitstable Bay' got a thumbs up from my drinking companions.
We perched on a handy vacant table in the corner, content in this classic west London pub, even if the TV showing the rugby was a little out of place in these surroundings.

It was a short walk back around Belgrave Square to reach the next pub on our list.  We tested our flag knowledge en-route; then, on request, I took some photos of a young lady holding signs in front of one of the embassy doors, with no idea what sort of protest I'd become an accomplice in.
Tucked down (yet another) back street was The Grenadier...

The Grenadier (18 Wilton Row, Belgravia, SW1X 7NR)
This is somewhere that I visited in the not so distant past and covered on this very blog as a Halloween post.  So, no need for me to go into detail here or recount why the ceiling is plastered in banknotes from around the globe.

My beer pick in the Grenadier was the house brew from Woodforde's of Norfolk, other options being Greene King 'IPA' or Tim Taylors 'Landlord'.  The 'Grenadier Ale' was served in reasonable condition but far from the most exciting of best bitters.

Right: let's visit a London classic, with a set of strict rules.

The Nags Head (53 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, SW1X 8ED)
Something went amiss with the photo of the frontage, as you can see above.
Could the Czar's Imperial Stout have finally caught up with me?

Set in another quiet side street, the Nags Head has a few outdoor tables, plentiful hanging baskets and a canopy labelled 'Kevin Moran'.  Kevin - probably Mr Moran to me - is a former guardsman and actor who has created a set of rules for the pub, proclaiming himself 'Britain's strictest landlord' in an article in The Sun.

The upper front bar claims to have the lowest counter in London, and features a pewter beer engine with pink ceramic Chelsea Pottery hand pulls.  Real ales came from Adnams with 'Southwold Best Bitter', 'Ghost Ship', and 'Old Ale' available.

 

Our fearsome host hurried along our orders (Old Ale for all) serving them in dimpled mugs and efficiently taking four separate payments being as we'd reached end of buying rounds.
"It's eight pounds a pint, cash only for anything under sixteen pounds," she instructed us.

"No, not up there, there's no seating up there - sit there!"

What with the 'no mobile phones' signage and insistence that coats be hung on pegs and not draped over chairs, we were all a bit overwhelmed as we settled on a table next to the fire and took in the plethora of vintage games machines, curiosities, memorabilia and old pictures around us.

"Hang on a minute...£8 a pint for a 4.1% beer?!" said John when the penny dropped a few minutes later.
WhatPub suggests considering the steeper end of London real ale prices as an admission fee for a unique gem of a pub, something I can't argue with.

Several of our colleagues from Oxford caught up with us here, as our own adapted route around the Belgravia pubs crossed paths with the original itinerary.
They got told off for moving a stool to a spot in front of the fire and told to squeeze in on the bench by the window instead.  The last thing I heard as we departed and waved them goodbye was "did we just pay £8 a pint?!"

The 'Old Ale', by the way, was excellent, the whole pub experience the best of the day.

We had missed three suggested pubs compiled for the pub ramble (not a crawl... even at this stage, definitely a ramble!) but had now reached the end of the route and didn't have the inclination to back-track to the ones we'd skipped.
Instead, we opted to poke our heads into the second pub on Kinnerton Street.

The Wilton Arms (71 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, SW1X 8ED)
Dating back to 1826, I suspect this would once have been as characterful an old inn as many of those we'd visited today.   But from it's 'Card Only' sign to the bright airy uncluttered space, it's 50 meters yet a million miles from the Nags Head.
The latest refurbishment came in 2021 after Shepherd Neame let the pub go and it was taken over by a small gastropub group.

Cask ale on offer was Fullers 'London Pride' or Allsopp's 'Pale' - we picked the pale again, being as this is something we're less likely to see back home.

Most of the other custom were eating and we were the odd ones out without our shopping bags from exclusive West End boutiques.
If I came in the Wilton Arms by myself I'd probably have hated it, but good company usurped by grumbles.  I'll even forgive the display of vintage Playboy covers - a pitiful attempt at mild smut in the gents...

Our day - or my participation in it, at least, as I headed for the bus stop afterward - ended in the Paxton's Head in Knightsbridge.  An old gin palace dating back to 1900 with a superb central bar and lots of etched glass and wood panels.
Unfortunately the guest beer had just run out leaving us with an unexciting 'Abbot Ale' - we'd gone downhill as far as exotic beer choice was concerned since Cask at midday.

I extend my thanks to those who arranged this pub ramble, taking me to a few new pubs hidden in the streets of Belgravia, making for a lovely afternoon in London.

Giants and Woodmen - Cerne Abbas and Bridport

I'm afraid that my dedication to the blog and all things pub has trailed off at the end of 2024.

"Stuff" has gotten in the way, as it does occasionally.

So instead of pubs adorned in Christmas decorations, I'm backtracking a few few weeks to catch-up and bring you a bit of mild smut in the gents WC on the side of a hill...

After an overnight in Dorchester and a return visit to Spoons for breakfast, I made the 8-mile trip north to the village of Cerne Abbas.
On such a grey miserable day.  I appeared to have the place to myself, sensible tourists deciding to wait and visit at a time they could get their phallic chalk man pictures with blue sky backgrounds.

Extreme mud curtailed the footpath route to the Cerne Abbas brewery tap, forcing me to trek along the side of the A352.
Not a good bit of road to walk - I was happy to see the "Caution: concealed brewery entrance 300yds ahead".  Wow - that's some bespoke road signage.

Turning into that concealed entrance, the brewery was down here somewhere...

A couple of farm buildings are located at the bottom of the leafy track, where a right-hand turn, navigating a puddle that was threatening to take on 'lake' status, led we to this rural brewhouse...

Cerne Abbas Brewery Tap (Chescombe Barn, Barton Meadows Farm, Dorchester Road, Cerne Abbas, DT2 7JS)
The brewery was founded in 2014 in smaller premises, moving to this new home at the Barton Meadows Farm in 2019.  They pride themselves on brewing using green sand-filtered water (ideal for beer and once making brewing a big business in these parts) and local barley from the Cerne Valley.  The taproom puts on evening sessions for the villagers, live music, special events, and food from the appealingly named 'Papa Cheese' on a Saturday.

As is my habit, I miss all that kind of cheese and music excitement and call in when the only people in the building are the brewer and his visiting accountant.

They still had a 'closed' sign hung over the draft beer tap, worrying me for a moment that I'd made a wasted roadside trek, but all was well, my arrival providing a break from the spreadsheets.
I could buy a t-shirt, some bottles, indulge in the impressive selection of boxed ciders or the racked beers on gravity.  Soundtracked by Heart FM, unfortunately.
'Blonde', 'Styrian Wolf', and 'Cnut' (who plundered the local monastery 1,000 years ago), were the available ales.
I sank into a big sofa by the door, supping a crisp, fruity, Styrian Wolf.

The brewery tap featured some proper rustic Gents WCs...

If it's raining, you're gonna get wet while you wee.

Leaving the taproom, I back-tracked to the village of Cerne Abbas where I had a half-hour to explore the picturesque streets and look at the remnants of the Abbey before the pub opened.  The Abbey was established in 987 and was the focal point of the area for 500-or-so years before Henry VIII unleashed his wrecking ball.

Here's the old Abbot's Porch...

I'm not entirely sure I got my £2.50 in the honesty box value-for-money from a few minutes spent wandering around the courtyard of what's left of the Abbey, but never mind.

It took me to 12noon and the Giant Inn was unbolting the front door.

The Giant Inn (24 Long Street, Cerne Abbas, DT2 7JF)
This was formerly the Red Lion, hence the two-in-one pub sign (top picture on the post).
There are three pubs in Cerne, a significant drop from the whopping 14 this village once boasted.
The Good Beer Guide led me to the Giant Inn, but I suspect I'd have been drawn to it anyway with the eye-catching Victorian frontage.

Inside, they were prepping for imminent lunch arrivals with plenty of reserved table signs, mildly surprised to see my eagerly early arrival.  Real ales on the bar were Exmoor 'Fox' or Butcombe 'Rare Breed' - the Fox for me, in decent condition for the first pour of the day.

Apologies to Cerne, but I wasn't compelled to hang around and sample the other two pubs on this quiet and dull day.
Instead, how about an afternoon in Bridport, where I wanted to visit the Woodman, one of 17 pubs on the 2024 CAMRA Pub of the Year longlist.

Before that though, I nipped into the Bridport side streets to the Tiger...

The Tiger Inn (14-16 Barrack Street, Bridport, DT6 3LY)
Now this was more like it.
A warm and welcoming main room - lots of dried hops - pump clip adorned beams - other customers besides me (now that's a novelty!)

The view to the pump clips was obscured by the sit-at-the-bar blokes and I can't quite remember what the choice was.  But I do know that my Greene King 'Blood Orange' was marvellous.  A smooth chocolate orange stout brewed in collaboration with Nethergate.

This 18th century inn is wet-led, attracting a half dozen midweek afternoon drinkers when I visited.  The attention of the locals was devoted to the bar staff who'd just returned from holidays in warmer climes and was regaling them with tales of events with bottomless Prosecco and the ensuing carnage.

Onward, to the Woodman...

The Woodman Inn (61 South Street, Bridport, DT6 3NZ)
This is a bit of a regular award winner, currently crowned the 2024 Wessex CAMRA Regional Pub of the Year and the 2024 Regional Cider Pub of the Year.

Of course, I'd really like to have visited on a raucous evening, but that didn't pan out.  A friend claimed to have been there when the effects of the rustic cider had caused the old boys to need to steady themselves against the wall as they navigated the pub.  
Just a couple of solo drinkers in on my visit, both able to get to the bar without the floor spinning out from under them.

There was an impressive and varied cask choice made up of: Five Points 'Railway Porter', Swannay 'Scarpa Special', Thornbridge 'Woodlands', Downlands 'Best' and - my pick - Colbier 'Intermission', all the way from Merseyside.

The music selection provided something a little bit different: some cosmic psych from the, previously unknown to me, Black Rainbows.

This was a thoroughly pleasant pub that I could quite happily have settled in for the rest of the day.  But I'd finished the local Giant's Pint CAMRA mag, so would have needed a good book on this occasion - no earwigging of other people's conversations to keep me entertained here...

But sadly I had places to be and couldn't wait for the crowds to descent on the Woodman.

That's two short visits I've made to Bridport pubs, which is a shame as I'm sure there is a cracking evening or two to be had in this Dorset town.

A Dorchester Dawdle

An overnight in Dorchester - the Dorset version, rather than the one on the Thames.

It has been ten years since I last visited Dorset's county town.  Back then, the brewery quarter was a construction site, but in 2024 the former home of Eldridge Pope was looking rather majestic despite the obvious disappointment that it's no longer a brewery and there is no Thomas Hardy barley wine being bottled here.
The grand old brewhouse is now surrounded by chain restaurants and lounge bars, a gym, hotel, and swanky shops. 
Happily, there is still some brewing going on, albeit on a small scale.

In a shiny modern building adjacent to Dorchester South railway station, the Copper Street Brewery was established in 2018.  Probably not photogenic at the best of times - but I've gone all-out to disappoint with the picture, capturing some big reflective windows...

Copper Street Brewhouse and Taproom (8 Copper Street, Dorchester, DT1 1GH)
On a mid-week afternoon, I expected to have this place to myself.  Hence the surprise to find it bustling with a wide range of folk, relegating me to a perch on the window ledge with a stack of empty barrels getting in the way of any chance of comfort.
This is basically a micro pub with a hatch to the side of the bar providing a view of some brewing kit.  Features included canine trip hazards, clutter in the sole WC, and a shelf of cans and bottles that you'd have to squeeze past the cheery, boozy blokes to get to.

On the bar counter were two casks, whilst the blackboard listed a handful of keg options including their own Saxon lager and guest beers.  I wanted something brewed on-site, so picked the cask Copper Street 'Aethelwulf', a sturdy 5.7% dark mild concocted for the Weymouth beer festival.

Whilst I would rather have liked a proper seat, this was a great little spot and a fine first beer to start my short Dorchester tour.
Moving on, I made the 8-minute stroll into the town centre and checked into my accommodation for the evening - the Old Ship.

I was staying in seemingly the only pub in town that didn't serve real ale, which was a bit of a let-down.
But it was a lot cheaper than the ambitious off-season Premier Inn prices and met my simple requirements for a night (roof, bed, TV to switch on and instantly fall asleep in front of).

Bag dropped off, I made Beer Guide regular Tom Browns my next port of call.

Tom Browns (47 High Street East, Dorchester, DT1 1HU)
This is now under the ownership of Oxfordshire pub group Oak Taverns, whose pubs appear in a few of my blog posts this year.
I just need to find my way to the Old Crown at Ebley, Stroud, to complete the lot.

I bowled in through the front door, looking forward to the revelry within...
Hmmm...

Yes, PropUptheBar, not for the first time, fails to visit places at their liveliest and best.
At one point the member of staff popped outside when he spotted friends passing by, leaving me with the whole place to myself.
But who needs a crowd when you've got an Uncut magazine soundtrack (Broken Bells...Alt J...Foster the People) and five cask beers to pick from.  These came from from Langport, Dorset Brewing Company and Piddle.  As Dorset BC brew a beer specially for the pub, I opted for the 'Tom Browns' trad best bitter.

Sat on my lonesome, I ventured to Google, deciding to look up who Tom Brown was to add some informative content to the blog.  Unfortunately, the top result was a 25-year-old homeless chap sentenced for possession of a firearm.  Which I suspect may not the Tom Brown the pub and beer are named after.

Right, let's move on to a micro down an alley...

Convivial Rabbit (1 Trinity House, Trinity Street, Dorchester, DT1 1TT)
Uh-oh, another quiet pub visit.  The crowds had swelled to four in Tom Browns when I left, but I found myself only the second punter in the 'Rabbit.   Things promised to pick up later with a number of tables reserved for the Dorchester crib players at 7:30pm, but I'd be gone before I had the chance to see how frivolous the crib crowd get.

The beers were listed on a board above the bar and fetched (very slowly) from a side room somewhere.  Quantock 'Quest for the Holy Grale', Nottingham 'Dreadnought', Cerne Abbas 'Ale', and Saltaire 'Big Table' made for a respectable choice.

The Quantock pale for me - an enjoyable pint in fine condition, from a brewery that always seem to do the business.
The Convivial Rabbit was a nice place - on the larger end of the 'micro' pub scale, with quality beer at reasonable prices.  But with no music and no crib players to liven things up, I'm afraid my time here was a little bit dull.

In the search of action, it was time to move on to the guaranteed crowds of Spoons.
The Dorchester branch is located on the traffic-heavy High Street West, in a former coaching inn with arched entrance leading through to what would once have been the stable yard.

The Royal Oak (20 High West Street, Dorchester, DT1 1UW)
This is a bit of a mix of Spoons styles - smaller rooms at the front, the design dictated by the historic hotel layout, whilst the bar is in a modern rectangular extension to the rear - Spoons-by-numbers as far as the design and furniture are concerned.

The Royal Oak offered a quality range of guest beers to pick from, from which I chose the Salopian 'Disintegration', a 5.1% strong pale ale that was crying out to be described as 'chewy'.

One pint and Fiesta burger with mushy pea side later, I was ready to set off to the Brewhouse and KItchen.  Only to discover the weather had taken a turn and it was hammering down on a dank Dorset evening.
So I scrapped the B&K plan and dashed a few meters down the road to my accommodation.

Old Ship Inn (High West Street, Dorchester, DT1 1UW)
Sadly, not quite so 'old' inside, with some ghastly wallpaper, polished wooden floors, TVs on for the sake of it, and typical town pub decor.
On the plus side - there were a nice couple of model ships on display.
And I was treated to a rousing singalong to Frank's 'That's Life' from the (possibly quite tipsy) locals around the pool table in the rear section.

A little less action around my chosen seat by the windows...

Sadly, no surprise handpumps to prove WhatPub wrong.
No silly strong craft beers or lethal dry-as-a-bone Dorset ciders.

So my evening in Dorchester ended on this smoothflow classic...

Belgian Beer in Bishop's Stortford

In which I find myself with a couple of hours to spare in the Herts town of Bishop's Stortford, late on an Autumnal Saturday afternoon.
I figured that should be ample time to get around the 2025 Beer Guide entries.

Going against convention, my first pub picture is of somewhere that I didn't actually set foot in.
But just look at the Nags Head...a stunning art deco design to match Nottingham's finest...

As visually appealing as the place looked, I didn't want to deviate from my plan and miss the town centre beer guide ticks.  Plus, a quick glance at Untappd suggested this wasn't a secret real ale destination.

Barry F has checked in Fosters lager 781 times to date.
Four stars every time and I bet he's never had to return a dodgy pint of it, like us suckers on the cask.

Just up the road from the Nags, around a mile out of town, was my first destination - a brewery in an industrial estate next door to the Gui pudding factory.

Belgian Brewer (Links Industrial Estate, Bishop's Stortford, CM23 5NZ)
The eponymous Belgian Brewer grew up in Belgium before moving to the UK aged 21.  Presumably unimpressed with Fosters in the Nags and the continental bottles available in the supermarket, they set about brewing trad Belgian styles in the home counties, establishing the brewery in 2018.
It's your typical industrial estate brewery tap from outside - big rectangular building, red shutters, gazebo, planters, portable bar in a trailer.  Inside, it has a fair bit of character and I rather liked it.  A friendly welcome.  Great selection of beers.  And a fine collection of Lowlands breweriana attached to the chipboard walls.

 

There were a fair few people in, most of whom seemed to know one another; a couple of chaps in their purple Bishop's Stortford FC shirts (I trust the Blues are doing better than last year).

Unusually, I stayed sensible with such a choice of high ABV beers on offer, ordering the mildly hopped, floral pale ale.  The brewer's lowest strength beer at 5.6%.
A couple of stronger ones went into the backpack for later.

It was time to move on and explore the town centre.
Bishop's Stortford is home to around 41,000 folk and - if I'm counting correctly - a pretty hefty 16 pubs.

The one I was heading to was through dimly lit side streets, the multi-coloured lights of The Castle luring me toward it.

The Castle (38 Castle Street, Bishop's Stortford, CM23 3TG)
Wow - this was a buzz of activity when I opened the front door - a contrast to the quiet street I was coming in from.  All the tables were occupied in the main room, conversations in full flow, lots of laughter, nobody paying any attention to the football on the TV screens.  The pub dog came to check me out, found me thoroughly uninteresting, and wandered back to his spot in the corner.

The two cask ales on offer came from Wharfe Brewery (formerly Red Fox) and Royston's Buntingford Brewery.
I felt a bit guilty ordering the Wharfe 'Leading Light' when it took forever to pour ("it's a lively one"). 

Then took this through to the snug to one side, the only place with a table free.  It's a nice little room with a bit of bench seating and a hatch to the bar to save you making the ten steps around the corner.  A room spoiled by the group of blokes who insisted on shouting to each other at full volume and were very, very rude about Angela Rayner.

Next up, a stroll along residential Portland Street, down to Market Street, then 'round the corner to The Star.

The Star (7 Bridge Street, Bishop's Stortford, CM23 2JU)
Now we're into proper ancient pub territory, with this inn dating back to 1636.  Not that you'd necessarily know once inside, as this has had a refurb or two to turn it into a town centre all-rounder.
There was an impressive beer line-up...Pride, Proper Job, Hobgoblin, Oscar Wilde mild, and two Brentwood brews.  Neat little luggage tags; no jam jars.

I picked the Brentwood 'Beer Outta Hell' - of course I did, it's a chilli and ginger porter.  Nice enough, but I would have heaped a bunch more ginger and chilli into the mix.
The Star is laid out in a U-shape with a courtyard out back.  The right side was a bit more pubby yet, after doing the rounds, I perched on a stool in the brightly lit bit with sofas, wooden beams, Everton on the telly, and excessive Halloween decorations. 

All in all, The Star is a pub I could have happily spent longer in.  There was a ridiculously cute puppy to detract from the Premier League, a Vampire Weekend soundtrack, a relaxed Saturday evening vibe, and the beer was in good nick.

I failed on my original mission for Beer Guide completion of the town.
Necessitating a return visit for the Sports Trust club bar and an opportunity to investigate what the Nags Head looks like inside.
Instead, I took the easy option of finishing the evening in Spoons.

The Port Jackson (Riverside Wharf, Bishop's Stortford, CM23 3GN)
This is a purpose-built JDW in the complex of Italian chain restaurants and apartments constructed next to the swans on the River Stort.  The Port Jackson first opened the doors in April 2014, although - once inside - this didn't feel like somewhere which was a building site ten years ago.
WhatPub suggested it was hit and miss in regards to cask ale excitement, so I guess I struck lucky with a couple of dark Halloween-themed guest ales at £1.99 a pint.  The Nethergate 'Complete Howler' was a wonderful warming dark ruby porter on top form.

The main bar features a grand old staircase with a balcony level.  Very peaceful and quiet upstairs when I wandered up there, although there must have been some wrong-uns a little earlier when half a dozen HP Brown Sauce packets rained down on my neighbour.
Saturday night in Bishops Stortford - it's a jungle out there.

With four pub visits, that was the end of my explorations for the time being.
With Belgian beers, back-street locals, and a couple of decent dark beers drunk, I'd passed a pleasant couple of hours in the town.
Unfortunately, not finding lots to complain about scuppers the planned 'Bashing the Bishop' post title.