Sounds like just the kind of day out I like, so off I set with the promise of those three things in the Somerset coastal town of Clevedon.
An early arrival gave me the chance to stroll along the seafront, admiring the views to Wales across the Severn estuary, before visiting the pier.
It cost me £3.70 to walk down the pier - and there's not even any slot machines.
But it is one for the pier enthusiast, Grade 1 listed, opened in 1869 as somewhere for pleasure trippers on steamers to be able to disembark and experience the delights of Clevedon.
But it is one for the pier enthusiast, Grade 1 listed, opened in 1869 as somewhere for pleasure trippers on steamers to be able to disembark and experience the delights of Clevedon.
Despite the blue skies there was a nippy cold wind blowing and I decided it was time to warm up in the first of Clevedon's two Beer Guide establishments.
Located up an alleyway from the seafront, the Royal Oak is set on a very smart looking quiet backstreet.
Located up an alleyway from the seafront, the Royal Oak is set on a very smart looking quiet backstreet.
The bar was to the left of the front door, offering a real ale choice of Butcombe 'Original', 'Doom Bar' and Tim Taylor 'Landlord' on the hand pumps. Those were the regulars, but I plumped for the guest ale: People's Captain 'Local Hero', a brand set up by an ex-rugby pro, raising money for good causes, brewing at Fourpure in London.
A quick check of the nautical decor necessary in any pub called the Ship...
Then an exploration of the rooms beyond the bar, the sun streaming through the windows in the rear lounge, a quirky Captain's Cabin snug beyond this.
Big TV screens showed futsol - which at least made a change from rugby.
Big TV screens showed futsol - which at least made a change from rugby.
Moving on, I wandered inland up Alexandra Road, then around the corner to where you'll find Somerset's first micro pub. And a model Swiss cow on the hillside if you look closely enough...
To be honest, my attention was caught by Woods Estate Agents whose signage is a bit more prominent than that of their micro pub neighbours.
The Fallen Tree opened in 2018 in what was once a launderette.
The landlord was a very friendly fella with a clear passion for his beers. On discovering I'd made the trip from Oxford he searched out the Oxbrew pump clips among the collection on the beams.
Beers on offer on my visit were Blindmans 'Mine Beer', Bristol Beer Factory 'White Desert', and Pinkers 'Northern Soul Western Funk'. I opted for the Pinkers, brewed nearby in Western-super-mare, this particular ale paying homage to 50 years of the Wigan Casino Northern Soul venue.
The micro filled up nicely with some local custom.
I was given a recommendation to walk to the Old Inn who, I was told, would have something interesting on the bar, as opposed to Greene King in most of the other town pubs.
The micro filled up nicely with some local custom.
I was given a recommendation to walk to the Old Inn who, I was told, would have something interesting on the bar, as opposed to Greene King in most of the other town pubs.
It was a good 15 minute trek up to the commercial hub of Clevedon, then along a main road to the Old Inn. Old in this case meaning it dates back to 1754, although its olde worlde features amount to little more than a couple of low beams to bang your head on.
Six hand pumps on the bar: two Stans ciders and a Twisted Oak duo should the Doom Bar and Butcombe not tickle your fancy.
A bit of a musical theme to the Twisted Oak brews - 'Reasons to be Cheerful' and 'Fools Gold'. Which meant I ignored the descriptions and picked the wrong one based on Ian Dury.
'Mosaic and berries', hmmm...I wasn't convinced.
The Old Inn has a long L-shaped room, with the rear leg being more aimed at dining, but of the proper pub grub and Sunday carvery variety. There were a fair few locals in on a Saturday afternoon and a good town pub feel to the place.
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| Mild smut in the gents - "Hello sailor" sub genre. |
I moved on with the aim of finishing the day with a brewery tap.
Having trekked up past Asda and through the industrial estate my first thought was that I'd had a wasted journey.
On the wrong side of spiky railings, with dark windows and stacked up patio furniture, the Cleveland Brewery Tap looked very shut. I would have given up if I hadn't caught site of head of silver hair moving in the window.
Having trekked up past Asda and through the industrial estate my first thought was that I'd had a wasted journey.
On the wrong side of spiky railings, with dark windows and stacked up patio furniture, the Cleveland Brewery Tap looked very shut. I would have given up if I hadn't caught site of head of silver hair moving in the window.
I walked up the road, back-tracked down a footpath and tried the door.
The bar was a tiny square room, seating options reduced even more by one bench being repurposed to house a TV which had been brought in to show the rugby world cup semi-final.
The locals were a friendly, chatty bunch.
"You on a CAMRA trip?" they asked.
Well, sort of. A one-man one.
As new regulars arrived they were introduced to the odd bloke in the corner who'd come all the way from Oxford to try the Clevedon beer.
"In your version of this place in Oxford, are the customers as crazy as us?" I was asked. Hmmm, I don't think we have a version of the Clevedon Brewery Tap in Oxford, sadly.
I will never know what happened with the drama of the sweep-stake list for the rugby world cup having been mislaid.
"Well, I know I had New Zealand", said one chap.
"So have about half a dozen of you", responded the gaffer.
I drained the last of my porter and bade my goodbyes to the folk of Clevedon Tap.
"So, when are you going to move here?" asked the lady by the door.
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